Renaissance

Just not all that great of a movie.

Definitely interesting to watch, and important to the medium of animated film, but not interesting enough to keep itself afloat.

Being in black and white, and done in the style that it is, it's impossible to avoid comparisons to Sin City. However, it is simply not done with the same skill as Sin City was. The fact that it does not employ real actors evokes memories from the film release of Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, when all the local news shows had reports about how outstanding the animation was, and how it looked like real people. This movie may have been better executed, at least visually speaking, by the folks that made that movie. The animation is quite remarkable, and at times looks beautiful, and almost lifelike. However, when the close-ups of the characters begin and you start seeing serious conversations between the protagonists, you begin to feel like you're watching cut scenes from a video game. The sharp brightness of eyes against an otherwise completely shadowed face, a visual tactic used quite a few times in Sin City, is also utilized here, though not nearly as well. The unrealistic boundaries from eye to face become even more obvious when truly featured, and really does become quite distracting.

The only color used in the movie, shown in drawings done by someone who I think has some kind of brain damage (I sort of stopped paying attention after a while), look like Facebook graffiti, being speedily drawn with neither an artist nor a tool. It really just wasn't that interesting.

I have waited for quite a while for a great, serious, animated movie, and was hoping this would be a good one. For all I know, there may be one already, 2D or 3D, but I have yet to see it.

In short, it looks too damn fake to be taken seriously, and the plot and dialogue are just not interesting enough to watch all the way through. The unforgiving shadows and almost complete lack of grayscale again brings to mind the look of Sin City, but when mixed with the unrealistically smooth movements of the computer animated people and the bizarre look of the moving mouths and faces, it becomes fake and distracting.

2/5.



Though I didn't like it that much, and seeing the way in which the characters moved and spoke sort of destroys the illusions, it really is an interesting style that the movie is done in, and quite cool to look at, for at least a few minutes. Kind of like Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. That movie blew, but I still have the VHS copy my dad got at a garage sale, since the first twenty minutes are interesting to watch, before it begins attempting to have a plot.

Anyway, this review was short, and I downloaded way more pictures than I had room for.
So here they are anyway.

"Dude, the Transformers sucked."

"Oh no they didn't! They were more than meets the eye!"

Transformers was a disappointment. That's really all I can say, if I were going to summarize my feelings in a sentence. Transformers was a disappointment.

Going into this movie, you cannot expect a masterpiece. If you were, you were gravely mistaken. I went into it expecting a fun, 144-minute, lighthearted movie, with enough plot to get by, and tons of exploding robots. I guess it wasn't not that. But after two hours of robots punching each other, you don't really need that extra half hour. It got boring pretty quickly, and honestly, I found it a little bit offensive.

I liked the way it started out. It begins with an attack by Blackout, a Decepticon disguised as a helicopter, on a military base in Qatar. A small group survives, and goes to tell the government about the giant transforming fuckbot they have just seen. Meanwhile, we have Shia LaBeouf as the geeky teenage protagonist, who unknowingly buys Bumblebee, his Autobot guardian, from Bernie Mac the used car salesman. Bumblebee disguises himself as a '74 Camaro, later changing into a more recent model, because I guess we wouldn't've wanted to buy a new car otherwise.

From a show that was originally just a half-hour toy commercial, it comes as no surprise that this is a two-hour car commercial. However, even though we've been raised in a society based on product placement and stealth adverts, we CAN tell when we're being yelled at. At one point, the Allspark, a cube holding the power of all Transformers ever, or something, is shooting little blasts of energy out at random mechanical objects. These just include to be an XBox 360, still in the box (because there isn't a big enough logo on the actual console), and a pop machines, sporting a large Mountain Dew logo. I think around the hour-and-a-half point they stopped trying slick camera angles to get the GMC logo in there, thinking we'd be distracted by the fact that it was now shooting cans of Mountain Dew, uzi-style, at civilians.

There is an interesting mix of characters in the movie. It is not just Shia LaBeouf and his foxy, popular crushee, but a small group of soldiers, as well a couple of computer geeks. I suppose this is the standard mix of characters in a movie involving all three groups, but they pull it off nicely. I was, however, mildly offended by the portrayal of the black characters in the movie. A blonde, british computer genius chick, one of the first to see the Decepticons' signal being used to hack the government's computers, goes to her friend Anthony Anderson for help figuring it out. He and his cousin, both of whom seem to be video-game obsessed, junk food-eating nice guys, live with their grandma, and yell at her from across the house. When the FBI comes, as the hacker chick illegally copied the signal from government computers, the cousin is the first to run, becoming outstandingly frightened at the sight of police. We later see Anthony Anderson and Hacker Chick in an interrogation room, with a plate of doughnuts. Anthony Anderson immediately scarfs down the whole plate, claiming that it will show their innocence. However, when a cop comes in, Anderson immediately cracks under the lack of pressure and comically turns over his friend, denying any wrongdoing.

Even at this point, I was not thinking about stereotypes or any of that, as it did not really hit me until later. At one point, all of our heroes are placed in a room with one another, and scratched into the wall are what look like three long scratches. One of the Qatar survivors, played by Tyrese Gibson, immediately walks over and remarks on the scratches, saying something about Freddy Krueger being "up in here." Anthony Anderson, obviously excited, bounces over to Tyrese, informing him that Freddy Krueger has four claws, and there are only three scratches next to one another. This means that it must be Wolverine. And, to prove his point, Anderson follows the statement with a cat-like scratch and a howl.

I am still trying to figure out the important or relevance of that little conversation. It got across a point that could've easily been gotten across with one sentence and moved on from—There are scratches in the wall, and the people see them.

I think the main reason this bothered me so much was that these, the two African-American characters in the movie, neither of them were able to stop goofing around and take it seriously. By this point, everyone has accepted that giant robots are blowing shit up, and yet the writers still keep on throwing in these wacky, look-at-me-be-blissfully-ignorant moments.

The only other thing I noticed was involving Jazz, and Autobot in the form of a Pontiac Soltice, spouting slang terms and seeming like the coolest of the Autobots. This is explained by Optimus Prime, who claims that they had learned English from the Internet. Jazz, however, is the only one who uses the speech, serving to contrast the reserved, intellectual speech patterns of all but Bumblebee (who talks by strategically changing radio stations, forming vague, suggestive messages).

And then, at the end, Jazz is torn in half and killed by Megatron. ("You want a piece of me?" "No. I want two!")

2/4, I guess.

Day of the Dead: The Rising of Bub #1 (Incomplete)

Anyone who the third of the George A. Romero zombie saga, "Day of the Dead," has got to be familiar with the lovable, gun-toting zombie Bub, trained by a scientist to do a few of the things he had been able to do in life. Thusthe door was opened for pretty much all the events in "Land of the Dead." Now, some undisclosed amount of time after "Day," the story of Bub is picked up again, in Dead Dog Comics' "Day of the Dead: The Rising of Bub."

Again in the midst of all the chaos of the other Romero tales, we begin following the story of a group in a couple of buildings, holding out from the zombies and waiting for someone to come and get them. When the signal that a person has seen them begins to sound, the residents of the shelter rush to light an alert flare, losing one of their own through a flimsy bridge in the process.

Now, as a result of the difficulty Dead Dog has injected into the navigation of their site, and my being far too lazy to go get the book to scan a few pages, all the images I am using are just art, and have neither balloons nor words. Only two of them really suffer at all because of it, they're still useful to get a look at the style of the comic.

Occult Hymn, DANGERDOOM.

A free EP available for download through the Adult Swim page linked to above, Occult Hymn is the result of a compilation between eccentric masked artist MF DOOM and Grey Album producer Danger Mouse. It's seven free songs, which seems to be basically because the entire thing is mixed with clips from and names of Adult Swim shows. (The entire first track is Master Shake talking.)

As this is almost all of the DANGERDOOM that I have heard, a good first impression has been made. The last track (Space Ho's) is inexplicably louder than the rest of the album, which gets annoying, as it is the least interesting of the songs.

I was originally somewhat dubious about two of the seven tracks being skits, though they each turned out to be quite entertaining. The first, an introduction to the album by Aqua Teen's Master Shake, confirms my suspicions that whoever the voice of Shake is is kind of a corporate whore. But I would be too. (He was also in one of the InAction Shorts on the View Askew website, leading to my suspicions in the first place.)

The second, featuring Minoriteam's White Shadow, is somewhat reminiscent of "Swingers." The White Shadow attempts to call DANGERDOOM, wanting him to join his evil team. He is then cut off twice by the answering machine, and ultimately decides he doesn't need DANGERDOOM after all. It's funny, but after a while becomes sort of a dragging sections of the album.

I don't think this thing was intended for the repeated playings I have put it through.

Basically, it's hella good for something FREE, and lord knows I love free stuff. I love both MF DOOM and Danger Mouse. The Grey Album was what really got me into rap, more namely into Jay-Z, and I still say St. Elsewhere is one of the best albums I've heard. And, though limited, my exposure to MF DOOM has made me love him as well. Gorillaz' November Has Come, to me, personifies the beauty of rap. It just keeps going, it has no plot or story or anything. It's just rhymes upon rhymes, interspersed with a chorus similar to that of "Feel Good Inc.," only slower.

In short, better than most of the free albums I've gotten while staying within the law.

The Goon 25 Cent Special, Dark Horse Comics (Incomplete)

So, before I actually start I want to thank Ben for keeping this blog afloat for so long. I promise all two of you that read this blog that my posting will become more consistant. I recently fell back into my addiction of World of Warcraft so much MMO goodness!

But, now to the matter at hand!

If you're not familiar with Eric Powell's delightfully vulgar brainchild, The Goon, you've been missing out. Seriously I don't mean to sound like a fanboy but, Eric Powell, is a comedic genius, and his art ain't bad on the eyes either.

300.

I have to start by saying this: Please don't kill me. Between the Eva Mendes-obsessed kids in my Robotics class and the overly-excited kids with the braces, red towels and the wooden swords, EVERYONE seems to love this movie. I don't think I'd stand a chance.

I saw this the day it came out. I was excited. I loved Sin City, thus beginning my love of Frank Miller, and so I was excited about this movie. The fact that Zack Snyder directed it, though not as big a deal, was still incentive for me. I loved his pseudo-remake of "Dawn of the Dead" in 2004, and thus had faith in him. Because the DVD commentary for that movie was quite funny. I like that guy.

I was disappointed. I'm sure I would've loved it more had I not put in the effort to read it the day before, but I was disappointed. For those of you who have not read the comic, almost the entire book takes place on the battlefield. The entire storyline with the queen doing crazy liberating stuff in Sparta was added later, and, though handled well, could not support its own weight all the way through. It seemed like a cliché, ya know: This guy is gone doing something heroic and great, and his lady is supportive, but she has to give herself to another dude to save him or whatever. It seemed dumb. Although there was some awesome payoff at the end, where she's all like, "Bitch!" and stabs him.

Oh yeah. This may sort of ruin some stuff for you if you haven't seen it yet.

Wikipedia refers to this, as well as Sin City, as a "shot-for-shot adaptation of the comic book." This is pretty much as true of this as it is of that, I think, at least as far as what was IN the comic book to begin with.

You will find that pretty much all of my complaints about this movie are about inconsistencies between the book and the movie.

Perhaps it was my commitment to the comic book, perhaps my extreme want to prove to my History teacher that it was at least MODERATELY historically accurate, perhaps an amalgamation of the two, but people I've talked to don't seem to be as bothered by this as I was. There are three big, angry, inexplicable monsters in this movie.

The first is a large rhinoceros-like creature, who is sent charging at the Spartans and killed en route. Now, at first, I tried to defend this in my head by thinking, "Maybe that's just representative of like, the elephants that were shown in the comic or something. Later, there are elephants, in a scene taken directly from the book. So they just threw Mr. McRhinofreak in there for the hell of it.

The second, at right, is much more humanoid. But this does not make him any more excusable. He is a giant angry battle-scarred creature, very much looking like something out of Lord of the Rings. I swear to god, in between the walking trees and the pissed off dead guys, he was in there. This is a big bald thing set upon the Spartans by the Immortals, who have it all chained up, as seen. They send him out there, and of course he fights directly with Leonidas, no one else. He seems not to care about the other 299 or so Spartans out there, with the exception of the two or three that need to be killed for him to get to his only somewhat conspicuous target.

The final and most annoying of these three creatures is a large, puffy creature with claw-like knives for hands. It is only shown for about thirty seconds, simply employed to slice a guy's head off as punishment. He is by far the least like any creature of the real world, and not even used in a battle sequence. If you are going to put a big random monster in there, Zack Snyder, at least use it for something interesting and memorable. Not for half a minute of confusion and bewilderment.

Now, I emphasize my problems with this movie simply because, judging from what I've heard, it is so unanimously LOVED. Sure, it was badass, I did like it a lot. But it was not perfect, and had some things in it that really pissed me off.

I give it a four out of five.

George Lucas, You Shit Bastard.

I own one copy of each of the Star Wars movies. I, II and IV-VI on VHS (the 1997 versions of the original trilogy), and Episode III on DVD. In 2004, Episodes IV-VI were released on DVD, with shiny new CG sequences and scenes added in. There is no DVD available of the ORIGINAL original trilogy.

I don't know that I have ever seen the ORIGINAL trilogy, at least not that I can remember.

In 1997, with the opening of Episode I came the new VHS versions of A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi.
Here is a scene from that version of Episode IV:


And here is what appeared on the one and ONLY DVD release of the film in 2004:


Just compare those two. Just look at one, and then look at the other. Digest it. Let it marinate in your brain.

Han vs. Greedo:
How many shots were fired, and who shot first?

Originally, Han fired the first and only shot. In 1997, Lucas decided he did not like this. He changed it, so that, from about a foot away, Greedo fires and misses, followed by Han shooting and killing Greedo. This was later changed so that the shots were even closer together chronologically, and, finally, in 2004, Han Solo is digitally leaned over, dodging Greedo's shot. This creeps me out.

Now, I see here that a DVD was released in 2006, featuring two versions of at least the first film, and I would guess the two original sequels as well. It has the original theatrical version, as well as the 2004 changes. I hate Lucas less now.

One relevant picture, one just cool.

So, I was on T-Shirt Hell today, looking at whore pictures, (click the link above,) and I came upon something that I originally was going to send to Nathan, but instead decided to post here. It made me laugh.



And, in the same whore-viewing voyage, I saw this. This is just one of those pictures that makes me happy to look at.

I review the Ghost Rider movie through IM with a fellow Ben.

Ben Cannon (9:57:31 PM): Hey, man, what's up?
Ben Halbach (9:57:38 PM): wo
Ben Halbach (9:57:49 PM): y dosent it say your on?
Ben Cannon (9:58:01 PM): I'm invisible.
Ben Halbach (9:58:16 PM): thats sad
Ben Halbach (9:58:21 PM): y do u do that?
Ben Cannon (9:58:36 PM): So I don't get IMed by people I don't want to talk to.
Ben Cannon (9:58:44 PM): Because I'm an asshole.
Ben Halbach (9:58:50 PM): thats y itws mean
Ben Halbach (9:58:53 PM): yeah
Ben Halbach (9:58:58 PM): your horribal
Ben Cannon (9:59:05 PM): I IMed a girl today.
Ben Halbach (9:59:10 PM): hahaha
Ben Cannon (9:59:10 PM): And then I wrote a blog.
Ben Halbach (9:59:19 PM): i saw the blog
Ben Cannon (9:59:25 PM): Did you like it?
Ben Halbach (9:59:30 PM): no
Ben Cannon (9:59:39 PM): Oh. Okay then.
Ben Halbach (9:59:47 PM): haha
Ben Halbach (9:59:56 PM): i was a asshole then 2
Ben Cannon (10:00:08 PM): Hahahah it's cool.
Ben Cannon (10:00:09 PM):
Ben Halbach (10:00:21 PM): no
Ben Halbach (10:00:28 PM): its pretty sad
Ben Cannon (10:00:36 PM):
Ben Cannon (10:00:39 PM): TOMATOES!
Ben Halbach (10:01:05 PM): POTATOES!
Ben Cannon (10:01:17 PM): TOMACCO!
Ben Halbach (10:01:49 PM): stardust solstece
Ben Cannon (10:01:53 PM): Moses
Ben Cannon (10:01:55 PM): Supposes
Ben Cannon (10:02:00 PM): His toeses
Ben Cannon (10:02:03 PM): Are roses.
Ben Cannon (10:02:06 PM): But Moses
Ben Cannon (10:02:08 PM): Supposes
Ben Cannon (10:02:16 PM): Erroneously.
Ben Halbach (10:02:27 PM): in peeking at tom
Ben Cannon (10:02:39 PM): Hahahahahahahah!! DId you watch SNL the other night?
Ben Halbach (10:03:08 PM): no...
Ben Halbach (10:03:18 PM): i watched gost rider instead
Ben Cannon (10:03:24 PM): Awesome.
Ben Cannon (10:03:28 PM): That movie was hip.
Ben Halbach (10:03:33 PM): its on utube
Ben Cannon (10:03:40 PM): Cool.
Ben Halbach (10:03:53 PM): yep
Ben Halbach (10:03:55 PM): u see
Ben Halbach (10:03:59 PM): it>?
Ben Cannon (10:04:09 PM): Yup.
Ben Cannon (10:04:17 PM): It was hip, after all.
Ben Halbach (10:08:58 PM): no
Ben Halbach (10:10:01 PM): it sucked
Ben Cannon (10:10:14 PM): I liked it.
Ben Cannon (10:10:18 PM): It was dumb.
Ben Halbach (10:10:23 PM): but funny
Ben Cannon (10:10:26 PM): But it was fun-dumb.
Ben Cannon (10:10:30 PM): Not FUNNY-dumb.
Ben Cannon (10:10:46 PM): FUNNY-dumb is Saw II.
Ben Halbach (10:10:52 PM): no
Ben Halbach (10:11:04 PM): u can laugh at bad acting 2
Ben Cannon (10:11:15 PM): Who acted badly in that?
Ben Halbach (10:11:22 PM): !?
Ben Cannon (10:12:06 PM): It wasn't bad acting.
Ben Cannon (10:12:15 PM): It was old-comic-book-style writing.
Ben Halbach (10:12:27 PM): so bad writing
Ben Cannon (10:12:32 PM): Y'ever read any of the original '60s Marvel comics?
Ben Halbach (10:12:55 PM): yeah i have
Ben Cannon (10:13:01 PM): It's like that.
Ben Cannon (10:13:06 PM): It's not bad.
Ben Cannon (10:13:08 PM): It's campy.
Ben Halbach (10:13:30 PM): im not sdaying i dont lkike it
Ben Halbach (10:13:43 PM): im saying i cant stype
Ben Cannon (10:13:49 PM): Hahahah.
Ben Cannon (10:13:53 PM): I liked it.
Ben Cannon (10:14:20 PM): It was, in the words of Zakiya, Campy Kitschy Yappi.
Ben Halbach (10:14:34 PM): ok
Ben Halbach (10:14:39 PM): u in poe?
Ben Cannon (10:15:01 PM): What?
Ben Halbach (10:15:52 PM): princlepuls of engeneering
Ben Cannon (10:16:25 PM): Oh. No.

ZOMBIES VS. ROBOTS #1 IDW Publishing, 2006

Do you love Zombies, and Robots? Do you sometimes find yourself wondering, "Where can I find a comic that combines my love of both?". Well I know I did, until I made my fantasy, a reality, by purchasing Chris Ryall's ZOMBIES VS. ROBOTS!

The plot of ZOMBIES VS. ROBOTS is as simple as it's namesake implies. In a distant future man has created primitive robots capable of basic independent thought. These are your classic 60's horror movie, Robots. The Zombies are also pretty standard, they fit the mold of what I call a typical Romero style Zombie, with the exception that have bouts where they seem to be capable of moving faster than two mph.

It also follows your basic imprint of what would be your stereotypical Zombie survival story, except the human are replaced with Robots.

I realize that the last review had to do with zombies, and this may be considered "overkill", but hey, what can ya do.

So here's the set up, Humans make Robots, they send Robots into future everything goes well until one of the Robots comes back with, the virus. So humanity is, for all intents and purposes...screwed. The plague spreads with the Robots unable to help their fleshy overlords. Eventually humanity is wiped out, with the exception of one. Whats left of the Robot resistance operates out of a hollowed out mountain. Their plan, clone the last human child on earth, because apparently all the Robots want is to be loved and without the human to serve they have no purpose.

This, in all honesty is a pretty mediocre set-up, but luckily Ashely Wood's stunning illustrations turn what could have been a generic Zombie/Robot comic into a really fun read! I'm a huge fan of Mr. Wood's work, and for me personally he really made this book.

So basically everything is coming along quite well...Until for some reason or another one of the Robots decides to bring two Zombies into the hideout(I mean honestly what was it thinking). Needless to say they get free and wreak a bit of havoc, but they're exterminated relatively quickly. Unfortunately it gets a bit messy(it usually tends to when you execute someone with a shotgun.) and a splash of blood flies right into Lucy's(the baby) mouth, Kobe!

Unfortunately it ends there and goes into a promo for a Jack Bauer comic.

This really is quite a short comic and it's actually a dollar more than most books $3.99. But, Ashely Wood's illustrations make it well worth the price, pick this up I mean seriously, the art is stunning. I apologize for not scanning more but the book makes it awfully hard to, without compromising its integrity.

Here's the back of the issue, tell me that isn't a turn on!

NEXT: SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T HAVE TO DO WITH MECHANICAL ABOMINATIONS, OR THE UNDEAD!! I PROMISE!!!

MEANINGLESS FILLER!!!

Ok, anyone man enough to read this entire post gets a cookie! This is as previously stated just meaningless filler because I'm not sure when I'll be updating again hopefully before the end of the weekend but if not you have this to look read! It's edited for time but other than that it's a great read. ENJOY!


NathantehRoXOR [10:02 PM]: hey!
benzic2 [10:02 PM]: Yo.
benzic2 [10:02 PM]: What is the up?
NathantehRoXOR [10:02 PM]: nothin' much
benzic2 [10:02 PM]: Awesome.
NathantehRoXOR [10:03 PM]: I was hopin' Angelo would be online because I want him to join the blog
benzic2 [10:03 PM]: Ah.
NathantehRoXOR [10:03 PM]: what's happenin' with you
benzic2 [10:04 PM]: Nuthin' much.
benzic2 [10:04 PM]: Talkin' to whoever happens to some online.
NathantehRoXOR [10:04 PM]: I see.
NathantehRoXOR [10:05 PM]: man dude this has been like a spring break for me
benzic2 [10:05 PM]: Yeah, shit.
NathantehRoXOR [10:05 PM]: except for I kinda felt like crap
benzic2 [10:05 PM]: Four plus four plus two.
benzic2 [10:05 PM]: Oh, how come?
NathantehRoXOR [10:05 PM]: I dunno, bad flu
benzic2 [10:05 PM]: Ah.
benzic2 [10:06 PM]: Feelin' any better yet?
NathantehRoXOR [10:06 PM]: yeah I probably could've ventured into to South today, but I figured why not go for the whole sha-bang
benzic2 [10:06 PM]: Heh. Nice.
benzic2 [10:07 PM]: That's be awesome.
NathantehRoXOR [10:07 PM]: yes, yes it's does
NathantehRoXOR [10:07 PM]: you coming to the mall tomorrow?
benzic2 [10:07 PM]: Yeah.
NathantehRoXOR [10:07 PM]: awesome
NathantehRoXOR [10:07 PM]: Norbit bitches!
benzic2 [10:07 PM]: I can't believe I am going to see that movie.
NathantehRoXOR [10:08 PM]: that movie shall be awesome
benzic2 [10:08 PM]: Why, Eddie Murphy, why?
benzic2 [10:08 PM]: You make it so difficult for me to love you.
benzic2 [10:08 PM]: I try.
benzic2 [10:08 PM]: I try.
NathantehRoXOR [10:09 PM]: dude that movie looks funny it's going to be so terrible
NathantehRoXOR [10:11 PM]: see, you have to be able to truly accept how terrible a movie like this is and than you begin to fully appreciate a movie like Norbit
benzic2 [10:11 PM]: Hahahah.
NathantehRoXOR [10:12 PM]: I speak truth my fellow quad-podian
benzic2 [10:12 PM]: You do indeed.
benzic2 [10:12 PM]: But I'm still not sure I'll be able to resist the urge to gouge my own eyes out with a straw.
NathantehRoXOR [10:12 PM]: hahaha
NathantehRoXOR [10:13 PM]: have you seen my new background on my myspace profile?NathantehRoXOR [10:13 PM]: it is AWESOME!
benzic2 [10:13 PM]: No, Victor told me.
benzic2 [10:13 PM]: I'm gonna look RIGHT NOW.
NathantehRoXOR [10:13 PM]: I LOVE IT SOO MUCH
NathantehRoXOR [10:13 PM]: CAAAPPPPSS LOOOCCCKKKK!!!!
benzic2 [10:14 PM]: Holy shit. Kit Kat - Tic Tac.
benzic2 [10:14 PM]: Weird.
NathantehRoXOR [10:14 PM]: YES I KNOW!
benzic2 [10:14 PM]: THat is quite possibly the greatest myspace background ever.
NathantehRoXOR [10:14 PM]: thats crazy is it not
NathantehRoXOR [10:14 PM]: I know
NathantehRoXOR [10:14 PM]: I love me some large breasted power girl
benzic2 [10:14 PM]: Heck yes.
NathantehRoXOR [10:15 PM]: I'm an inch and half taller than jean grey!
benzic2 [10:15 PM]: Hahahah cool.
NathantehRoXOR [10:16 PM]: In the Marvel 1602 miniseries, Jean Grey poses as "John Grey" and is a member of the "witchbreed" led by Carlos Javier (the Charles Xavier of the 1602 universe). Carlos Javier thats fucking priceless
benzic2 [10:16 PM]: And I'm like, a foot and a half taller than you.
NathantehRoXOR [10:16 PM]: YUP!
benzic2 [10:16 PM]: Carlos Javier.
benzic2 [10:16 PM]: Hahahah.
benzic2 [10:16 PM]: I read one of those.
NathantehRoXOR [10:16 PM]: HAHAHa
benzic2 [10:16 PM]: It was weird.
NathantehRoXOR [10:16 PM]: really what's it about?
NathantehRoXOR [10:16 PM]: I know literally nothing about the 1602 universe
benzic2 [10:17 PM]: Marvel... in 1602.
benzic2 [10:17 PM]: There's all the New WOrld shit, and they hate the mutants and such, referring to them as "witchbreed."
NathantehRoXOR [10:17 PM]: really I thought that it was just the number for the universe!!benzic2 [10:17 PM]: Hahahah.
NathantehRoXOR [10:17 PM]: thats DUUUMMMBBB!
benzic2 [10:18 PM]: It wasn't amazing, no.
benzic2 [10:18 PM]: It was all right, it wan't terrible, but it wasn't amazing, either.
NathantehRoXOR [10:18 PM]: that's to bad I normally really like Neil Gaiman
benzic2 [10:18 PM]: Neil Gaiman wrote that?
NathantehRoXOR [10:19 PM]: did you read the sandman thing I gave you?
NathantehRoXOR [10:19 PM]: yeah
benzic2 [10:19 PM]: Yeah, and I got the second one from the library and read that one too.
NathantehRoXOR [10:19 PM]: cool
benzic2 [10:19 PM]: I'm waiting fro that fuckbag to return the third one.
NathantehRoXOR [10:19 PM]: love me some Morpheus
benzic2 [10:19 PM]: Yeeeeeeup.
benzic2 [10:19 PM]: That fat collector guy was weird.
NathantehRoXOR [10:20 PM]: yeeeaahhh
[10:25 PM]: And, after I got my hair cut and when I got the braids, my shadow just looked fuckin' weird.
NathantehRoXOR [10:25 PM]: hahaha I don't pay attention to my shadow
NathantehRoXOR [10:25 PM]: he's a punk
benzic2 [10:25 PM]: Hahahah.
NathantehRoXOR [10:26 PM]: he owe me five dolla
benzic2 [10:26 PM]: Hahahah.
NathantehRoXOR [10:26 PM]: my shadow be comin' round, I be like "What you need shadow?" He be like "I need bout tree fitty!"
benzic2 [10:26 PM]: "I gave him a dollar."
NathantehRoXOR [10:27 PM]: Now God damnit he just gona keep comin back now woman!benzic2 [10:27 PM]: Hahahah.
NathantehRoXOR [10:28 PM]: I saw "waiting..." today
benzic2 [10:28 PM]: Ya like it?
benzic2 [10:28 PM]: Apparently it's funny.
NathantehRoXOR [10:28 PM]: I thought it was damn funny
benzic2 [10:28 PM]: Awesome.
NathantehRoXOR [10:29 PM]: but then again you know what kind of sense of humor I have
NathantehRoXOR [10:29 PM]: if it involves genitals of any kind I'm in!
benzic2 [10:29 PM]: Hell yes!
benzic2 [10:29 PM]: DUDE.
benzic2 [10:29 PM]: DId you see my President's Day blog?
NathantehRoXOR [10:30 PM]: I didn't have time to watch the video but I shall right now
benzic2 [10:30 PM]: Hahahah it's hilarious.
benzic2 [10:33 PM]: "That monk beating that guy to death with a rock is totally James Bond."NathantehRoXOR [10:34 PM]: HAHAHAHAHAHAA
NathantehRoXOR [10:34 PM]: THAT WAS SO BADASS
NathantehRoXOR [10:35 PM]: shit that was funny as hell
NathantehRoXOR [10:35 PM]: "He'll save the children, but not the British children."
benzic2 [10:35 PM]: Hahahah I know!
benzic2 [10:35 PM]: He reads the newspaper while that kid gets eaten by that lion.
NathantehRoXOR [10:36 PM]: "Ate, opponents brains, and invented cocaine
benzic2 [10:36 PM]: "I heard one time he stuck an opponent's wife's hand... in a jar of acid... at a party.
"NathantehRoXOR [10:36 PM]: hahahaha
benzic2 [10:36 PM]: Dude.
benzic2 [10:36 PM]: Have you seen the Sloths video?
NathantehRoXOR [10:37 PM]: those guys should win an award for BEST EVERYTHING!NathantehRoXOR [10:37 PM]: "I heard, that motherfucker, had like, thirty god damn dicks!"
benzic2 [10:37 PM]: Hahahah.
NathantehRoXOR [10:38 PM]: I love that shit
benzic2 [10:38 PM]: Dude, go on YouTUbe and search for "snl sloths," and watch it.
NathantehRoXOR [10:38 PM]: okay, I love that nobody saw the link for the lego porn
benzic2 [10:38 PM]: I know.
NathantehRoXOR [10:39 PM]: they're all like, "Um..those aren't legos..."
benzic2 [10:39 PM]: Yeah, I was like, "...What?"
benzic2 [10:39 PM]: And then I realized that she didn't hit the link.
benzic2 [10:39 PM]: But I was like, "How were those not Legos?"
benzic2 [10:39 PM]: You've seen the Lego porn, right?
NathantehRoXOR [10:39 PM]: yeah...
benzic2 [10:40 PM]: It makes me laugh.
NathantehRoXOR [10:40 PM]: haha
benzic2 [10:54 PM]: So, you play bass now.
benzic2 [10:54 PM]: I decided.
NathantehRoXOR [10:54 PM]: no thats matt
NathantehRoXOR [10:55 PM]: I play with my dick and thats all
NathantehRoXOR [10:55 PM]: ;-)
benzic2 [10:55 PM]: Hahahah all right then.
NathantehRoXOR [10:55 PM]: thats the sexual innuendo wink!
NathantehRoXOR [10:55 PM]: ;-)
benzic2 [10:55 PM]: Hahahah.
NathantehRoXOR [10:55 PM]: lookat 'em they blink in unison
NathantehRoXOR [10:56 PM]: ;-)
benzic2 [10:56 PM]: Hahah.
NathantehRoXOR [10:56 PM]: no but if I play instrument I'm not playin bass
NathantehRoXOR [10:56 PM]: it's just known fact that bass players get the leats poon
benzic2 [10:57 PM]: What?
NathantehRoXOR [10:57 PM]: least*
benzic2 [10:57 PM]: Ah.
NathantehRoXOR [10:57 PM]: you couldn't have deduced that?
benzic2 [10:57 PM]: For a minute I thought it was a misplaced space, and something about a spoon.
NathantehRoXOR [10:58 PM]: HAHahahaha
benzic2 [10:58 PM]: Hahahah.
benzic2 [10:58 PM]: And for a second I was like, "1337 spoon?"
NathantehRoXOR [10:58 PM]: ok then
benzic2 [10:59 PM]: Yup.
benzic2 [10:59 PM]: I'm smart.
NathantehRoXOR [10:59 PM]: haha
NathantehRoXOR [11:01 PM]: dude, johnny cash is such a badass
benzic2 [11:01 PM]: Indeed he is.
NathantehRoXOR [11:02 PM]: I haven't listened to any of his music for a while
NathantehRoXOR [11:02 PM]: but I had itunes on shuffle and "A boy named sue" started playing I was like, I forgot what a badass Johnny was.
benzic2 [11:03 PM]: Hahahah cool.
NathantehRoXOR [11:04 PM]: he shot a man in reno just to watch him die y'know
benzic2 [11:04 PM]: Hell yes he did.
NathantehRoXOR [11:18 PM]: get this there's a band named, hurd...it rhymes with turd! HAHAHAHA
NathantehRoXOR [11:18 PM]: AHAHAHAHAHA
NathantehRoXOR [11:18 PM]: HAHAHAHAHA
benzic2 [11:18 PM]: !!!
benzic2 [11:18 PM]: Hahahahahahahah!!!
benzic2 [11:18 PM]: That is the awesomest.
NathantehRoXOR [11:18 PM]: HAHAHA
NathantehRoXOR [11:18 PM]: it is
benzic2 [11:19 PM]: Yertle the Turd.
NathantehRoXOR [11:19 PM]: hahahahahahaha
benzic2 [11:20 PM]: My right nostril has been frictioned raw by breathing.
NathantehRoXOR [11:21 PM]: seriously?
benzic2 [11:22 PM]: Well, I mean, it's not like, BLEEDING.
benzic2 [11:22 PM]: But ya know that feeling after you've been breathing through only one nostril for a while, and it starts to hurt?
NathantehRoXOR [11:22 PM]: thats still wierd
NathantehRoXOR [11:22 PM]: yeah
benzic2 [11:23 PM]: I hate that.
NathantehRoXOR [11:23 PM]: dude I thought I was gonna go apeshit while I was getting my hair cutbenzic2 [11:23 PM]: Hahahah.
NathantehRoXOR [11:23 PM]: it took her like an hour to cut my hair right
benzic2 [11:23 PM]: Wow.
NathantehRoXOR [11:24 PM]: well like twenty minutes in I start feeling this little trickle of snot running down the side of my nostril
NathantehRoXOR [11:24 PM]: you know that feeling?
benzic2 [11:24 PM]: Hahahahahahahah.
NathantehRoXOR [11:24 PM]: imagine that FOR LIKE FORTY MINUTES!!!
benzic2 [11:25 PM]: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!
NathantehRoXOR [11:25 PM]: IT WAS INSANE!!
benzic2 [11:25 PM]: My brain would explode.
NathantehRoXOR [11:25 PM]: I kept tryin to like snort back in with it being like blantantly rude
NathantehRoXOR [11:25 PM]: but it would budge
NathantehRoXOR [11:26 PM]: so I sat there goin out of my mind
benzic2 [11:26 PM]: Hahahahahah.
NathantehRoXOR [11:26 PM]: man I hate that feeling
Colon blow is a product from the film Van Wilder
NathantehRoXOR [11:32 PM]: Van Wilder sucked utter ass
benzic2 [11:32 PM]: Hahahahahahahah.
benzic2 [11:33 PM]: Did you ever see Little Nicky?
NathantehRoXOR [11:33 PM]: they made a spin off of Van Wilder not even starring...Van Wilder
benzic2 [11:33 PM]: I KNOW.
NathantehRoXOR [11:33 PM]: and yeah I've seen little Nicky
benzic2 [11:33 PM]: Was it any good?
NathantehRoXOR [11:34 PM]: this is coming from the fifth grade Nathan, when Adam Sandler could do no worng, but I remember it being pretty funny.
NathantehRoXOR [11:34 PM]: wrong*
benzic2 [11:34 PM]: Ah.
benzic2 [11:34 PM]: Cool.
NathantehRoXOR [11:34 PM]: but it's like funny in a Norbit sense
benzic2 [11:35 PM]: Grrrr...
NathantehRoXOR [11:35 PM]: it's a really terrible, movie that knows its a terrible movie and plays off that notion
benzic2 [11:35 PM]: Yeah.
benzic2 [11:55 PM]: The throwing up thing is sad, not really the boyfriend thing.
benzic2 [11:56 PM]: I don't really care what happens to her with dudes, excluding something REALLY terrible.NathantehRoXOR
[11:56 PM]: I don't know if there's any truth to that
benzic2 [11:56 PM]: Like being raped with an electric mixer.
NathantehRoXOR [11:56 PM]: HAHA
NathantehRoXOR [11:56 PM]: I just imagine an electric mixer trying to seduce a dude
NathantehRoXOR [11:56 PM]: or a chick
benzic2 [11:56 PM]: Hahahahahahahah!
benzic2 [11:57 PM]: Like, "Hey. I got some uh, some pretty big uh, spinny things down there, if uh, if ya wanna see 'em."
NathantehRoXOR [11:58 PM]: "Oh, uh, well, like wanna go back to my place..."
benzic2 [11:58 PM]: "I gotta go home and uh, plug myself in. Maybe ya wanna come back with me?"
NathantehRoXOR [11:59 PM]: "Sorry I only date big boys if you're not battery operated don't bother waiting around when I leave!"
NathantehRoXOR [12:00 AM]: "If you reach in this cookie jar you better be pacin' four double A's!"
NathantehRoXOR [12:00 AM]: packin*
benzic2 [12:00 AM]: "No! No, I just gotta recharge! It'll just take a couple hours!"
NathantehRoXOR [12:01 AM]: "Sorry, I already got myself a grown-man lets go hot-plate."
benzic2 [12:02 AM]: "No! No! I can spin that motherfucker into the ground! Noo, noooooo....oooo...."
benzic2 [12:02 AM]: *batteries die*
NathantehRoXOR [12:02 AM]: HAHAHA
benzic2 [12:02 AM]: :D
NathantehRoXOR [12:02 AM]: that's totally what would happen
NathantehRoXOR [12:02 AM]: ;-)benzic2 [12:03 AM]: Hahahah.NathantehRoXOR [12:03 AM]: I gotta be up bright and early tomorrow so I'll seeya later.
benzic2 [12:03 AM]: M'kay.
benzic2 [12:03 AM]: I will see you tomorrow.
NathantehRoXOR [12:04 AM]: bye
benzic2 [12:04 AM]: :P
benzic2 [12:04 AM]: Bye bye!!

MARVEL ZOMBIES.

I have chosen to go the more the more recent route by talking about one of NATHAN'S favorites, Marvel Zombies.

Written by Robert Kirkman (The Walking Dead, Battle Pope), and drawn by Sean Phillips (Hellblazer, Batman), Marvel Zombies follows the plotting reanimated corpses of various Marvel heroes hunting for warm human flesh. Mm, people.

Myself being an asshole when it comes to zombies, this goes against beliefs of how zombies would wind up, (i.e. talking, etc.). But I am willing to forgive that if the zombies are in something as well written and well executed as Marvel Zombies is.

Issue 1 opens with Magneto having trapped the zombies in their own dimension, closing their only way to get human flesh outside of their own Earth. But, with him seeming to be the only food left in the area, he is faced with a massive mob of zombies, led by an undead Captain America. Magneto, being the badass he is, put up quite a fight, impaling the slowly rotting Matt Murdock with an iron girder, and slicing off the top of Captain America's head with his own shield. But he is unable to fend off all of the zombies, and is consumed. While the zombies plan their next move, the Silver Surfer is noticed, as he has come to inform the planet's inhabitants of the fact that Galactus gon' eat 'em. Tasty tasty.

I am far too lazy to summarize all five issues, but in short, the zombies win.

The covers of the five issues of this mini-series were all based on those of classic Marvel comics, as seen to the right, all beautifully bloodied by industry veteran Arthur Suydam.

According to THE INTERNET, there is a coming one-shot prequel, called Marvel Zombies: Dead Days. I guess this is supposed to chronicle the earlier days of the outbreak, those not included in the aptly named Marvel Zombies/Army of Darkness crossover, Marvel Zombies vs. the Army of Darkness.

So yeah. In short, I heart Marvel Zombies, no matter what mean old Nathan says. It is wonderful, and you should ALL go read it.